酒店实习生第一季

　　我从来不是幽默的女生
　　不喜欢突然的一场雨
　　明知道你正伤心
　　却又默默离去
　　明知道下雨天的你
　　需要亲密的语气
　　说今天就快过去
　　雨会停　心将平静
　　我从来不是幽默的女生
　　只好为你淋雨
　　我从来不是幽默的女生
　　不适合这种情景
　　我从来不是幽默的女生
　　真不幸　坏了天气
　　　　　　　　　　　——陈珊妮《我从来不是幽默的女生》

寒假前因为好友Dean的推荐而开始看《Grey's Anatomy》，不紧不慢地看了一个寒假，倒也就这样追到了第三季。

可以说，在昨天之前——或者更确切点，在我和Pheobe聊完天后看了第三季第13集以前——《GA》里我最喜欢的女孩虽然不能确定是谁，但一定不会是Christina Yang。
曾经带着几分偏见地认为：怎么可能会有人喜欢上Christina Yang这样的女孩呢？她不美丽、不温柔、固执、冷漠、而且还有着带几分功利的进取心。看着她每天一大早来到医院只为抢到好的病人，看着她想尽一切方法就为能上手术台，看着她不修边幅一心工作，觉得这个女孩除了优秀，似乎再也找不到一点讨人喜欢的地方了。
甚至，就连她与主治医生Burke的相恋，也让我觉得这只是她想要获得手术机会的一个手段而已。

到了第二季，一位身体中有炸弹的病人使整个医院都陷入了恐慌，Geroge和Izzie转移到了医院的另外一栋楼，而Christina和Grey却都留在病人所在的楼层。当时，Geroge和Izzie坐在墙角谈论着正陷入危险的那两位朋友，Izzie评论她们说：“因为她们都是行动派，而我们却大多时候在旁观。”
Christina的勇气让我对她有了改观。无论她留下的原因究竟是担心Burke，还是仅仅想要获得一个难得的手术机会，但她的确是一个毫无疑问的行动派。当医院出现身体释放不明毒气的女病人时，Sloan医生拒绝进入手术室处理病人，而Christina却立刻举起手对主任说：“我可以在游泳池不呼吸游三个来回。”于是渐渐觉得，这样一个有着几分傻气的行动派，似乎也不至于那么让人厌恶吧。

直到Burke意外中弹，Christina却退缩时，我才终于发现，这个女孩并不像自己表现的那样坚强。原来，这个优秀得近乎冷酷的女孩，也终究会有软弱的一面。而这样的软弱，竟让我对她有了莫名的好感。
Christina的确不是一个善于讨人喜欢的女孩，她与Burke斗气时小孩子般互不相让，她对Burke的母亲骄傲地报出自己的学历，她为了好的手术机会不顾一切……那样一个优秀且骄傲的女孩，却也会逃跑般离开Burke的手术台，也会在听到Burke说“marry me”时忍不住激动流泪。觉得这样的她，才是在那个躲在为了保护自己而假装坚强冷漠的外壳里的那个真实可爱的Christina Yang。

记得在女性文学课上，老师曾经谈到过文学作品中的女性形象：在大多数文学作品中，女性形象被简单地分成了两类——美丽温柔的天使形象与丑陋邪恶的恶魔形象。
在这种分类的无形影响下，女孩们从小就被教导着要做天使。她们会收到芭比娃娃、毛绒熊之类的礼物，然后每天自言自语般地在教导自己娃娃的同时也教导自己，说：要乖、要微笑、要顺从……

在我还足够年轻、可以拿年龄作为炫耀的资本的时候，很喜欢《小王子》中的小狐狸，并因为小王子最终的选择而感到伤心。可之后才渐渐明白，其实小玫瑰这样的女孩注定了比较容易得到幸福。
作者总是很喜欢通过文学作品来说话，而《小王子》的结局，是否可以理解为圣艾修伯里想要对女孩们说：聪明的女孩只适合做知己，而能陪伴一生的女孩不用太有思想，能够笑容甜美、用细软的声音说话就好。
也许正是这样，他才会选择文章中小玫瑰的原型——那个因为《小王子》没有献给自己而任性出走的康素罗。

那么多的故事，那么多的王子最后爱上的都是公主，而那么多的公主无一不是温柔美丽的。
也许，温柔美丽就足够了吧，麻烦到隔着十多层羽绒垫也容不下床上的一颗豌豆也完全没有关系，傻到除了等待王子的吻来拯救自己外什么都不会做也根本不是问题——温柔、美丽，这就是与王子过上幸福生活的资格。
印象中唯一一个能称得上拥有智慧的公主图兰朵，也只是被人们定义成为了一个因为有着阴暗的童年从而仇恨男人、报复社会的心理畸形的小姑娘而已。更不厚道的是，作者还要落井下石地给她安排了一个悲惨的结局，似乎是在坏笑着告诉那些蠢蠢欲动的女孩们，除了温良恭俭让之外，其他一切的优秀形容词都是为男人造的，想要把它们放在女人身上是要不得的。
难怪伍尔夫会感叹：“有谁能计算得出，一个诗人的灵魂被禁锢在女人的身体里时，会有多大的悲愤。”

可是，现实中的女孩实在无法被如此简单而不负责任地分成天使和恶魔两大阵营。就像Chritina Yang这样的女孩，虽然算不上恶魔，但也实在做不了天使。
即使明知道小玫瑰比较容易得到幸福，但毕竟不是每个女孩都做得了小玫瑰。
有些女孩，她们不知道怎么给人安慰，学不会如何讨人欢心，不甘心做别人光芒背后面容模糊的小女人，更演不来那些山盟海誓、缠绵悱恻的爱情肥皂剧……于是，有时候也会忍不住想，这些偏执倔强的女生们，还真是挺让人扫兴的吧。

好在看到Christina Yang的身边有了愿意将心放在她手上的Preston Burke，不然这些女孩，是不是该手拉手站出来向这个世界鞠躬道歉，说：“真不幸，坏了天气。”

SEASON ONE

Episode 1: “A Hard Day’s Night”
O.A.O.T.S., "Dance"
Thirteen Senses, "Into the Fire"
Butterfly Boucher, "Life Is Short"
Rilo Kiley, "Portions for Foxes"
Vaughan Penn, "Ready to Rise"
BANG sugar BANG, "Super Cool?
Jem, "They"

Episode 2: “The First Cut is the Deepest”
The Cardigans, "Live and Learn"
The Ditty Bops, "Sister Kate"
Keane, "Somewhere Only We Know"
Get Set Go, "Wait"
Tegan and Sara, "You Wouldn't Like Me"

Episode 3: “Winning a Battle, Losing the War”
Lisa Loeb, "Fools Like Me"
Tegan and Sara, "I Won't Be Left"
The Ditty Bops, "There's a Girl"
The Ditty Bops, "Wishful Thinking"
Reindeer Section, "You Are My Joy"

Episode 4: “No Man’s Land”
Get Set Go, "Break Your Heart"
The Eames Era, "Could Be Anything"
Rosie Thomas, "Let Myself Fall"
Sia, "Sunday"
Vaughan Penn, "Truth"
Tegan and Sara, "Where Does the Good Go?"

Episode 5: “Shake Your Groove Thing”
Ivy, "Edge of the Ocean"
Interpol, "Evil"
Dee, "Money Girl"
Buffseeds, "Sparkle Me"
Psapp, "Tiger, My Friend"
The Ditty Bops, "Wake Up"

Episode 6: “If Tomorrow Never Comes”
Psapp, "Chapter"
Butterfly Boucher, "Never Leave Your Heart Alone"
Jem, "Save Me"
The Ditty Bops, "Walk or Ride"

Episode 7: “The Self-Destruct Button”
Tegan and Sara, "Downtown"
Wilco, "Hummingbird"
Joe Purdy, "Suitcase"
ACDC, "The Self-Destruct Button"
Jem, "Wish I"

Episode 8: “Save Me”
Nellie McKay, "David"
Masha Qrella, "Feels Like"
Tegan and Sara, "Fix You Up"
Joe Purdy, "I Love the Rain the Most"
78 Saab, "No Illusions"
Laura Veirs, "Rapture"

Episode 9: “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?”
A.M. Sixty, "Big As the Sky"
Psapp, "Cosy In the Rocket"
Medeski, Martin & Wood, "End of the World Party"
Iron & Wine, "Naked As We Came"
Maria Taylor, "Song Beneath the Song"
Nellie McKay, "The Dog Song"
The Radio, "Whatever Gets You Through Today"


SEASON TWO

Episode 1: “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head”
Firstcom, "All I Need"
Michelle Branch, "Breathe"
Esthero & Sean Lennon, "Everyday Is a Holiday (With You)"
Ivy, "Feel So Free"
Bow Wow Wow, "I Want Candy"
Mike Doughty, "Looking At the World from the Bottom of a Well"
Kate Earl, "Some one to Love"
Blue-Eyed Son, "Step Away From the Cliff"
Joe Purdy, "The City"

Episode 2: “Enough is Enough (No More Tears)”
Goldfrapp, "Beautiful"
Joy Zipper, "Go Tell The World"
Jem, "Just a Ride"
kt tunstall, "Suddenly I See"
Brandi Carlile, "What Can I Say"

Episode 3: “Make Me Lose Control”
Sylvie Lewis, "By Heart"
Inara George, "Fools In Love"
Elevator Action, "I'm a Bitch"
Roisin Murphy, "Ruby Blue"
Get Set Go, "Sleep"
Maria Taylor, "Song Beneath the Song"

Episode 4: “Deny, Deny, Deny”
Ben Lee, "Catch My Disease"
The Delgados, "I Fought the Angels"
Merrick, "Infinity"
Rolsin Murphy, "Ramalama"

Episode 5: “Bring the Pain”
Way Out West, "Don't Forget Me"
Mike Doughty, "I Hear the Bells"
Tegan and Sara, "Not Tonight"
Roisin Murphy, "Prelude to Love In the Making"
Blue-Eyed Son, "Step Away from the Cliff"
Blue-Eyed Son, "When I Come Home"
Cowboy Racer, "Yellow Horse"

Episode 6: “Into You Like a Train”
The Hereafter, "Back Where I Was"
B.C. Camplight, "Blood and Peanut Butter"
Umbrellas, "The City Lights"
Emiliana Torrini, "Today Has Been Okay"

Episode 7: “Something to Talk About”
The Faders, "Better Off Dead"
Annie, "Chewing Gum"
Mark Joseph, "Get Through"
kt tunstall, "other side of the world"
Rosie Thomas, "Since You've Been Around"

Episode 8: “Let it Be”
Gabin, "Bang Bang to the Rock n' Roll"
Joe Purdy, "Far Away Blues"
Nouvelle Vague, "I Melt With You"
Anya Marina, "Miss Halfway"
The Faders, "No Sleep Tonight"
The Chalets, "Sexy Mistake"

Episode 9: “Thanks for the Memories”
The O.A.O.T.'s, "Dance"
Dressy Bessy, "New Song (From Me to You)"
Keren Ann, "Not Going Anywhere"
Fannypack, "Nu Nu (Yeah Yeah)"
Josh Rouse, "Sad Eyes"
Emiliana Torrini, "Serenade"
Nellie McKay, "The Dog Song"
Mark McAdam, "Too Hard"

Episode 10: “Much Too Much”
Get Set Go, "Crying Shame"
James Blunt, "High"
Greenskeepers, "Lotion"
Roisin Murphy, "Night of the Dancing Flame"
Lifehouse, "You and Me"

Episode 11: “Owner of a Lonely Heart”
Jim Noir, "I Me You"
Emiliana Torrini, "Sunny Road"
James Blunt, "Tears and Rain"
Gemma Hayes, "Two Step"
Moonbabies, "War On Sound"

Episode 12: “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
Jet, "Back Door Santa"
Maria Taylor, "Christmas After All"
Holidays on Ice, "Here Comes Your Ride"
Sixpence None The Richer, "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear"
The LeeVees, "Latke Clan"
Catie Curtis, "Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming"
Lou Rawls, "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town"
Nat King Cole, "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)"
Mascott & Dave Derby, "This Christmastime"

Episode 13: “Begin the Begin”
Slow Runner, "Break Your Momma's Back"
The 88, "Hide Another Mistake"
Kraak & Smaak, "One of These Days"
Cary Brothers, "Ride"

Episode 14: “Tell Me Sweet Little Lies”
Saint Etienne, "A Good Thing"
Carey Ott, "Am I Just One"
Adrienne Pierce, "Fool's Gold"
Sam Winch, "I Got Some Moves"
Metric, "Monster Hospital"
Mike Tarantino, "Wienermobile Girl"

Episode 15: “Break On Through”
Emilia, "Big Big World"
Leeroy Stagger, "Just In Case"
Landon Pigg, "Sailed On"
Kendall Payne, "Scratch"
Rebecca Lynn, "Small World, Big Girl"
Kate Earl, "Someone to Love"
Aqueduct, "The Suggestion Box"
Vassy, "Wanna Fly"

Episode 16: “It’s the End of the World…”
Big Big World (TNT Big Phat Mix): Emilia
Monotypes, "Dead Streets"
Michael Stipe & Chris Martin, "In The Sun"
Joseph Arthur, "In the Sun"
Ursula 1000, "Kaboom"
kt tunstall, "Miniature Disasters"
Kate Havnevik, "Unlike Me"

Episode 17: “... As We Know It”
Greenskeepers, "Back In The Wild"
Anna Nalick, "Breathe (2 a.m.)"
Foy Vance, "Homebird"
Correatown, "I Tell Myself"
Ambulance LTD, "Stay Where You Are"
Kate Havnevik, "Unlike Me"
The Weepies, "World Spins Madly On"

Episode 18: “Yesterday”
All Sad Girls Are Beautiful, "Baby Blue"
Joshua Radin, "Closer"
Psapp, "Cosy In the Rocket"
Diplo, Pantera Os Danadinhos, Sandra Melody & Vybz Cartel, "Diplo Rhythm"
Headlights Headlights, "Everybody Needs a Fence to Lean On"
Rosie Thomas, "It Don't Matter to the Sun"
Devics, "Just One Breath"
Corinne Bailey-Rae, "Like a Star"
Shout Out Louds, "Wish I Was Dead Pt. 2"

Episode 19: “What Have I Done to Deserve This?”
Boy Least Likely To, "Be Gentle With Me"
Madeline Peyroux, "Careless Love"
Get Set Go, "I Hate Everyone"
Devics, "Just One Breath"
Corinne Bailey Rae, "Like A Star"
Sandra Melody, "Newsflash"
New Moscow, "Slow Down"
Brandi Carlile, "Throw It All Away"
Emiliana Torrini, "Today Has Been Okay"

Episode 20: “Band Aid Covers the Bullet Hole”
Ning Baizura, "Breathe Again"
Sing-Sing, "Come, Sing Me a Song"
Jem, "Flying High"
The Last Town Chorus, "Modern Love"
Tina Dico, "One"
Urbs, "So Weit"

Episode 21: “Superstition”
Anna Nalick, "Catalyst"
Luke Doucet, "Free"
Foy Vance, "Gabriel and the Vagabond"
Dr, Moses McNeil and Company, "Halleluah"
Rufus Wainwright, "Hallelujah"
Jeff Buckley, "Hallelujah"
The Fray, "How to Save a Life"
Devics, "Just One Breath"
Jamie Lidell, "Multiply"
Postal Service, "Such Great Heights"
Greenskeepers, "You Don't Know Me"

Episode 22: “Name of the Game”
Sunshine, "C'Mon Yeah"
Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy"
Dressy Bessy, "Girl, You Shout!"
Butterfly Boucher, "Life Is Short"
Joshua Radin, "The Fear You Won't Fall"
Anna Nalick, "Wreck of the Day"
Phil War, "You Think I'm Crazy"

Special: “Under Pressure”
Breath, "Breaking Down"
Mark Joseph, "Fly"
Adrienne Pierce, "Fool's Gold"
Merrick, "Infinity"
Bright Eyes, "I Woke Up With This Song In My Head This Morning"
The Weepies, "World Spins Madly On"
Kendall Payne, "Scratch"

Episode 23: "Blues For Sister Someone"
Metric, "Police and the Private"
Hotel Lights, "Follow Through"
Sunshine, "Love"
James Morrison, "Better Man"
Caleb Kane, "Go Mad"
The Chalets, "Gogo Don't Go"
The Chalets, "Red High Heels"
The Chalets, "Fight Your Kids"

Episode 24: "Damage Case"
Foy Vance, "Homebird"
Kate Havnevik, "Nowhere Warm"
Regina Spektor, "On The Radio"
Brandi Carlile, "Tragedy"
The Legends, "Something Good"
Inara George, "Oh My Love"
Kate Havnevik, "Unlike Me"
Anna Nalick, "Breathe (2 a.m.)"
Natalie Wilson, "When You Need a Friend"
The HorrorPops, "Where They Wander"

Episode 25: "17 Seconds"

Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Gold Lion"
Snow Patrol, "Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking"

Episode 26: "Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response"
KT Tunstall, "Universe And U"
The Coral Sea, "Look At Her Face"
Au Revoir Simone, "Through The Backyards"
Gomez, "How We Operate"

Episode 27: "Losing My Religion"
Peter Droge, "Under The Waves"
Dressy Bessy, "Side 2"
Amos Lee, "Colors"
Masha Qrella, "Destination Vertical"
Kate Havnevik, "Grace"
Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"


SEASON THREE

Episode 1: "Time Has Come Today"
The Dixie Chicks, "Lullaby"
Tegan & Sara, "Take Me Anywhere"
Sleeping At Last, "Quicksand"
Emiliana Torrini, "Nothing Brings Me Down"
Gnarls Barkley, "Gone Daddy Done"
Grant Lee Phillips, "Under The Milky Way"

Episode 2: "I Am a Tree"
Moloko, "The Time Is Now"
Mat Kearney, "Crashing Down"
The Chalets, "Theme From Chalets"
Bittersweet, "The Mating Game"
Jesus Jackson, "Running On Sunshine"
Snow Patrol, "Open Your Eyes"
Mat Kearney, "All I Need"

Episode 3: "Sometimes a Fantasy"
Outkast, "Idlewild Blues"
Lilly Allen, "Take What You Take"
The Pipettes, "Dirty Mind"
The Bamboos, "Step It Up"
The Poems, "Ballad of a Bitter End"
Joe Purdy, "Can't Get It Right Today"

Episode 4: "What I Am"
Camera Obscura, "If Looks Could Kill"
The Gossip, "Standing In The Way Of Control"
Au Revoire Simone, "Back In Time"
Kate Havnevik, "So - Lo"
TV On The Radi, "Province"
Mindy Smith, "Fall For Nothing"

Episode 5: "Oh, The Guilt"
Nellie McKay, "Clonie"
Kate Havnevik, "Kaleidoscope"
The Second Band, "Wild Is The Wind"
Fionn Regan, "Be Good Or Be Gone"
Keisha White, "Don't Mistake Me"

Episode 6, "Let The Angels Commit"
Teddy Bears, "Cobrastyle"
Jim Noir, "My Patch"
Peter Bjorn & John, "Young Folks"
Gomez, "Notice"
Vega 4, "Life is Beautiful"

Episode 7: "Where The Boys Are"
Beck, "Think I'm In Love"
Jim Noir, "Tell Me What To Do"
Luke Temple, "Make Right With You"
Inara George, "Greedy"
The Jealous Girlfriends, "Something In The Water"
Big Sandy & His Fly Rite Boys, "It's Time"
Brett Dennen, "There Is So Much More"
Bedouin Soundclash, "12:59 Lullaby"
Bill Ricchini, "A Cold Wind Will Blow Through Your Door"

Episode 8: "Staring at the Sun"
Lily Allen, "Not Big"
Get Set Go, "Everybody Get Movin'"
The Watson Twins, "Time of My Life"
Mat Kearney, "Where We Gonna Go From Here"
Ingrid Michaelson, "Breakable"
Chandra Wilson (Miranda Bailey), "God Bless the Child"

Episode 9: "From a Whisper to a Scream"
The Dears, "You And I Are A Gang of Losers"
Damien Rice, "9 Crimes"
Kate Havnevik, "New Day"

Episode 10: "Don't Stand So Close to Me"
Anya Marina, "Sociopath"
John Legend, "Show Me"
Son Volt, "World Waits For You"

Episode 11: "Six Days (Part I)"
The Research, "Lonely Hearts Still Beat The Same"
William Fitzsimmons, "Passion Play"
Emiliana Torrini, "Beggars Prayer (demo)"
Michelle Featherstone, "Rest Of My Life"
Travis, "Love Will Come Through"

Episode 12: "Six Days (Part II)"

1. OK Go, "Here It Goes Again"
The song plays as Meredith and Derek bicker in bed after not getting much sleep. Izzie and George discuss Izzie's check.

2. Regina Spektor, "Fidelity"
The song plays as Addison and Callie talk about Addison's choice to not have Mark's baby.

3. Ingrid Michaelson, "The Way That I Am"
The song plays as Cristina complains about sleeping alone, and Meredith confesses she feels jealous of George's relationship with his dad. Cristina brings Burke his dinner.

4. Susanna & The Magical Orchestra, "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
The song plays as the O'Malley family makes a decision about George's dad.

5. Gary Jules, "Falling Awake"
The song plays as Burke, Cristina and Derek talk about Mr. o'Malley. His family is gathered around him in the hospital. George's friends wait in support of him.

6. The Slip, "Life in Disguise"
The song plays as Cristina consoles George, Alex and Addison spend time together, and Derek goes to sleep beside Meredith.

Episode 13: “Great Expectations”

1. Lily Frost, “Enchantment”
Burke has Derek and Meredith over for a dinner party at his house, and Cristina sits in the kitchen counter tossing cereal into her mouth and drinking wine straight from the bottle.

2. Umbrellas, “Ships”
Callie, Cristina and Richard operate on a patient. Derek yells at Meredith about telling Sloan about the chief. Dr. Bailey asks Dr. Burke for help. Izzie talks to Rachel about letting go of Jilly who is going to die of a disease.

3. Skye, “Love Show”
Addison invites Alex to a surgery. Meredith and Derek fight, but make up. Cristina and Burke make up. George and Callie make up.

Episode 14: "Wishin' and Hopin'"

1. Sybarite, "Runaway" feat. Psapp
The song plays as Izzie and Bailey look onto their new "Denny Duquette Memorial" clinic. Cristina considers her ring. Meredith prepares to speak with her mother.

2. Beck, "Elevator Music"
The song plays as Izzie and Alex offer a patient a free consultation. Ellis and Cristina talk about Meredith.

3. Miho Hatori, "Barracuda"
The song plays as Vincent learns about his girlfriend. Cristina begs to be included in a surgery. Meredith warns Derek about her mother but Derek talks to Ellis anyway.

4. Iain Archer, "Canal Song"
The song plays as Meredith talks with Richard.

5. Susanna & The Magical Orchestra, "Believer"
The song plays as Richard and Ellis talk about Meredith and their past relationship.

6. The Whitest Boy Alive, "Fireworks"
The song plays as Cristina and Burke share their moment.

Episode 15: "Walk On Water"

1. Radio Citizen, "The Hop"
Meredith sits in the bathtub alone, Derek tells Meredith he is concerned about her, Izzie misses George, Cristina tells Burke not to tell anyone they are engaged.

2. Union of Knives, "Opposite Direction"
Bailey tells interns to get out there and help people, Meredith tends to the wounded.

3. 8MM, "Liar"
Izzie tells Vince to find search and rescue, Derek asks Meredith if she is upset, Addison and Richard talk, Cristina confronts Burke.

4. Snow Patrol, "Make This Go On Forever"
Alex checks on Jane Doe, Mrs. Heit waits for word on her son, Rick starts to have a seizure, A crowd of distraught family members yells at Alex, and Meredith is accidentally knocked off the pier into the water.

Episode 16: "Drowning On Dry Land"

1. Butterfly Boucher, "A Bitter Song"
The song plays as the episode opens and Meredith struggles in the water. Later, the track plays at the end of the episode as the doctors furiously work on Meredith.

2. Kate Havnevik, "Timeless"
Song plays as Izzie drills into the patient's head. The little girl stares at the water as Derek finally emerges with Meredith.

3. Patrick Watson, "The Great Escape"
The song plays as Izzie is in surgery with her patient. Alex posts pictures from the morgue.

Episode 17: "Some Kind of Miracle"

1. Aqualung, "The Lake"
The song plays early in the episode as the Chief works on Meredith.

2. Damien Rice, "Sleep Don't Weep"
This track is showcased when Meredith's heart flatlines, and the doctors look on, perplexed - and unsure if they should continue.

3. Unkle Bob, "Swans"
Song plays as Chief says goodbye to Ellis, Derek sleeps by Meredith, and Izzie & Denny sense each other in the hallway.

Episode 18: "Scars and Souvenirs"

1. Koop, "Come To Me"
Plays as Izzie gets surprised by Alex in the morning, and she complains to Meredith about it. At the same time, George complains to his wife, Callie, about Izzie.

2. Gomez, "Girlshapedlovedrug"
Cristina catches up with Colin, who shows up out of the blue. Derek and George prep for her operation. Callie tells George about her family.

3. Psapp, "Hi"
This one plays while Meredith tells Derek she is having dinner with her father, Thatcher, and the interns talk in the cafeteria.

4. Wild Sweet Orange, "Land Of No Return"
Meredith and her father and stepmother have dinner. Meanwhile, Dr. Burke questions Cristina about her past relationships.

5. Anya Marina, "Move You"
George and Izzie get drunk and have a blast together. Alex checks on Jane Doe, again. Cristina and Meredith have a heart to heart.

Episode 19: "My Favorite Mistake"

1. Mirah, "La Familia"
This song plays at the beginning of the episode as Izzie wakes up and Meredith and Cristina ask her questions about her night.

2. Alamo Race Track, "Black Cat John Brown"
At lunch, Izzie asks Meredith about blacking out after drinking. Cristina talks about Burke. Izzie asks about Jane Doe's face selection.

3. Adam Merrin, "Still Alright"
You hear this song as George has a flashback to the night before... and he goes to confront Izzie about it.

4. Let's Go Sailing, "All I Want From You Is Love"
This song plays as Meredith harvests bone during her much-anticipated operation, and Cristina amputates her patient's foot.

5. Let's Go Sailing, "Sideways"
Alex talks to Jane Doe about her new face. Cristina talks to Burke about their wedding. Meredith talks to Derek about her dad.

Episode 20: "Time After Time"

1. Amy Winehouse, "You Know I'm No Good"
The song plays as Burke and Cristina operate on a patient.

2. The Whitest Boy Alive, "Burning"
Plays as Cristina and Meredith discuss their issues with Colin and Susan, and Alex asks for Cristina's help.

3. Nouvelle Vague, "Dancing With Myself"
Playing in the background as the interns hang out at the clinic and talk about their patients.

4. Maria Taylor, "Clean Getaway"
George helps Izzie get dressed and she tells him about her family.

5. Lullaby Baxter, "Fontana Fontaine"
This track plays when Derek asks Bailey for advice about Meredith, and as George takes a recovering Izzie down to pediatrics.

6. Maria Taylor, "A Good Start"
Jane Doe argues with Alex. Burke and Cristina talk about Colin at home. Susan confronts Meredith and they have a heart to heart. Addison finds Richard hitting on a woman... and decides to intervene.

Episode 21: "Desire"

1. The Reddmen, "The Secrets of Amanda Prine"
We hear this song as the interns study for a big exam.

2. Let's Go Sailing, "Better Off"
Callie and Addison talk about their various relationships and feelings while this song plays (and Ava listens) in the background.

3. The Bird & The Bee, "Again & Again"
The interns continue studying, while testing out wedding cakes.

4. Beck, "Nausea"
The surgeons and interns participate in various operations.

5. Anna Waronker, "How Am I Doing"
This song plays at the end of the episode, as Cristina is studying and picks a cake, while George and Izzie talk about the future, and Addison unsuccessfully tries to get Alex to hang out with her.

Episodes 22 & 23: "The Other Side of This Life (Parts I & II)"

1. Feist, "Sealion"
The song plays as the interns are wakeful at night, and Cristina awakes to find Burke's mother is there.

2. The Mary Onettes, "Lost"
The song plays as Addison Montgomery drives along the Pacific coast and enters the Oceanside Wellness Clinic.

3. The Broken West, "Down In The Valley"
Addison enters the Wellness Clinic and finds Naomi.

4. The Switches, "Message From Yuz"
Naomi tells Addison they have an opening.

5. The Rosewood Thieves, "Los Angeles"
Couples therapy at the Wellness Center.

6. Jem, "California Sun"
Naomi and Addison talk, Violet runs into her ex.

7. The Adored, "Not Having It"
Cooper cries over his stripped vehicle.

8. Brandi Carlile, "Turpentine"
Addison yells at the elevator to stop talking!

Episode 24: "Testing 1-2-3"

1. Let's Go Sailing, "This Rope Is Long"
This song plays as Meredith gets dressed in a black dress as the interns study. Callie and George study. Meredith talks with Derek at the hospital and Cristina and Burke talk about the wedding.

2. Amy Winehouse, "Wake Up Alone"
The song plays as George tries to talk to the Chief, and the doctors operate on the three hypothermic mountain climbers.

3. Ingrid Michaelson, "Corner Of Your Heart"
Alex and Ava argue about her memory and what she really knows. Izzie tries to talk with George about Mercy West but becomes upset.

4. The Weather Machines, "Stains Of Saints"
This song plays as Addison joins Derek, Mark and Preston at Burke's bachelor party at Joe's bar.

5. Paolo Nutini, "Million Faces"
A mysterious woman offers to buy Derek a drink in the bar, while Ava (or Rebecca Pope) and Alex reconcile, and Richard finds Adele.

Episode 25: "Didn't We Almost Have It All"

1. The Jealous Girlfriends, "Roboxula"
Callie copies Cristina's vows onto her hand, Izzie and Meredith play toilet paper bride, Richard tells Mark he won't be Chief, and Bailey tells Derek that they found the fourth mountain climber.

2. Grace Potter, "Falling Or Flying"
Cristina is unable to sleep on the eve of her wedding day, Alex watches Rebecca and her husband talk, Derek talks to Meredith about his night.

3. Ray Lamontagne, "Hold You In My Arms"
Burke practices his vows in the O.R., Callie says she wants a baby, Alex talks with Rebecca's husband, Jeff, while he holds her baby.

4. Coburn, "Closer"
Cristina operates in order to clear her head before the ceremony. Izzie helps George tie his tie and declares her feelings for him.

5. Ray Lamontagne, "Within You"
The interns get their test results. Ava begs Alex to give her a reason to stay, and Meredith and Derek have a disappointing heart to heart.

6. The Hereafter, "Eulogy"
The song plays as Alex talks to Addison about Ava. George and Bailey talk about his results, and whether they failed one another. Meanwhile, the ladies get ready for the wedding.

7. The Mary Onettes, "Explosions"
Cristina readies herself and Preston goes to check on her.

8. Ingrid Michaelson, "Keep Breathing"
The song plays in the final few minutes of the episode as Alex looks for Rebecca, Meredith helps Cristina out of her dress, Callie watches Izzie sitting in the chapel, George meets Lexie Grey, and Richard talks with Derek about the Chief position.

P.S.
在雨天，在晚上，反反复复听着曾经在剧集里出现的那些歌。随着歌的旋律模模糊糊记得起那些情节，那些漂浮不定的情绪。

因为这部剧，记得Jem，记得Thirteen Senses，记得Snow Patrol，记得Keane，当然也会记得Meredith、Dereck、Cristina、Izzie这些人物。他们的哭与笑，快乐与悲伤，都在这些那些歌中。

Grey's 的第七集里，被那对老夫妻感动得哭了出来。
年过半百的老人握着一起走过了半生的人同样苍老的手，互相笑着说“my love, goodbye.”
在每一次手术前告别，然后在手术结束后，再次地，say hello。
因为从第一次就知道，每一次的告别都可能成为永别。这并不是玩笑。所以用着虔诚深情的表情和爱一次次做最后的仪式。
假以你这一次离开，也不是带着遗憾分离。
是不是这样子。
于是他们说，这才是真正的相濡以沫。
  
然而感动我的，却不只是这样子。
  
或许在等待的男人心里，从来没有真正设想和接受过那一种无法再相见的可能性。于是理所当然地等待着同爱人说你好的时间，
然而这一次的告别，却真的成为了永别。
那个苍老的、失了平静的声音在说，不要离开我。
一遍一遍。
那双老迈的、不肯停下手，执著地在早已经没了心跳的心脏上反复徒劳的动作。
只要你醒来。
上天没有赐予一点奇迹的怜悯，那个惶然无措的老人，在黄昏黑夜里，始终没有等到白昼。
   
那么，到底是要怎样的深情切意，才能在十年、二十年、三十年、四十年、五十年……这样漫长的时间里，一次次将无情的光阴打败。在这个寡情而薄幸的现实里。
  
于是那些相濡以沫的事情，在心里渐渐筑成了一座固若金汤的城堡，那叫做……奇迹吧。
  
之于找寻。多少人终其一生都在找寻。
在这样烟雾缭绕的世界里，是不是有着那样的存在，值得我们葬掉半生也要去等待。

Hard-core是格雷的常用词（其他常用词如著名的seriously），也是一干医生追逐的目标。够硬派够彪悍，再来外科。不然的话不如去有爱的皮肤科。Chrisitina更是以它为人生准则。所以当Christina对着尿不湿惊叹“这就是彪悍的定义啊”的时候，你一定得信她。

Shepherd超长时间手术，清秀小Lexie想出了用尿不湿代替上厕所的主意。被Christina发现后得到了热情的鼓励。当Lexie被同事发现并耻笑时，她是这样说的：
If it helps to get Dr. Shepherd through this surgery, I will wear a diaper. My diaper is awesome; my diaper is hard-core. You wish you have the balls to wear MY diaper. I am gonna wear it, and I am gonna wear it with pride. If I need to pee in it, oh I’ll pee. Because I am a surgeon and this is America: I will to what needs to be done. So you can kiss my hard-core diaper-wearing ass.

很厉害很强悍。

第一次评格雷所以多说两句。我该怎么推荐这部戏给没看过的人？所有的女生都会爱它。它让我哭也让我笑。Shepherd的荧光临床试验号称史上最浪漫的手术，而Meredith一遍遍默念”He’s with Rose.”又让人心碎。第四季结局烛光画出的房间格局图可以上我的电视剧桥段top10排行榜。格雷也在讲人生，小希望小梦想，逃避和亲情，生和死，爱和选择。

第六季很爱Meredith。Izzie的桥段很扯。虽然我觉得Mer捐肝住院一大半是为了让演员休产假，但她走到这一步也真的不易。Mer有各种心理阴影，可以被dark & twisted准确形容，一度险些自杀成功。她刚见到异母妹妹是什么态度我们都知道。她能说出“我不知道有父亲是什么样的生活，但我知道有妹妹是什么样。我不能让她失去你。”，往深里说我实在是很欣慰哈哈哈，我实在是有种看着她长大的感觉～

　　　《Grey's Anatomy》
　　关系
　　第一季开头，凌乱的现场，naked girlGrey在闹钟声中一把抓起地上睡得正酣的男人裹着的被单，并将一个枕头摔到了他的臀部上。
　　男人还想说什么，Grey请他马上离开，因为自己要上班了，而她还叫不出来他的名字。
　　他们分别前说的最后一句话是：“很高兴认识你。”
　　COOL！
　　男女平等，莫过如此。
　　
　　enemy or competition
　　Dr. Burke得知 Dr. Shepherd是上司richard挖来，一向认为外科主任的位子在自己囊中的他，开始有了危机感。他去问下属，问intern，自己像不像外科主任？自己有什么缺点？
　　Dr. Shepherd大方邀约Dr. Burke下班一起去喝一杯。他的轻松微笑，理由是：要了解你的朋友，也要了解你的敌人。Dr. Burke则回答：you are not an enemy,you are just competition.
　　而在intern中间，竞争更无处不在，一个号召，都会有如林的手臂举起。
　　但他们的competition如此透明。
　　没有权谋、厚黑、算计，这样的competition，很好。
　　
　　3R
　　God，我喜欢Grey的内心独白。喜欢她的3R理论。
　　她说，人生有3R:relatives,romance,roomates.
　　
　　love story
　　最近看连岳，里面充满着这个时代混乱的感情，just like天涯上那一段段故事。老妈不知道我在看什么，里面的内容，她会吓坏的吧。到处是婚外情、一夜情、无性爱、无爱性、劈腿、三三，如果不是可爱的连岳，谁还会认为读这样的东西是一件美好的事情呢？
　　《ugly betty》里，时尚界内，更上一层楼，是同性恋、变性人的故事了，而Danile的老妈也在为走了一个三，又来了一个三而烦恼。
　　环球同此凉热啊。
　　Frankie的最爱就是GA，多么明晰的、蓝白色的医学世界，还有Shepherd和Grey，Burke和Yang.看上去那样美好。
　　
　　情感问题
　　美好永远都只是一瞬间的事情。
　　Grey发现Shepherd原来是有老婆的。而真在选择面前，男人更狠。看上去冷面冷口冷心的Yang，我们以为她更冷静。但主任的位子，让Burke做出更冷的决定。
　　两个受伤的女人相拥而取得一点点人间的温暖。就像《Sex and the City》里的女人们。
　　越来越觉得，感情，真是一样复杂的东西。Emotion is a mess.forever.
　　
　　good-looking man
　　和表弟论争，哪个医生帅？我觉得Burke太帅了，就像YANG的妈妈说的，真是good-lookingman，而且黑人中，好像很少有这样帅的男人。戴上很另类的花头巾，真是太酷了。Shepherd当然也不错，我记起来他拍过电影《sweet home alabama》。不过还是觉得Burke越看越帅啊。Anyway，我和Frankie都觉得Yang不好看，但看习惯了还是有一些风情。再说美国人眼中的亚洲美女都是此种类型，像Lucy liu式的。
　　Yang失去了一个男友、一个baby，一个输卵管，情绪终于崩溃大哭。Burke路过，拥住了她。很温暖。
　　不是每个故事都有美好结局。但我们希望如此，虽然有时只是希望。
　　
　　老美女
　　Meredith当然是剧中的一号女主角，却有人不喜欢她。
　　老。声音不好听。
　　有人说。
　　我喜欢Meredith，包括喜欢她脸上那痛苦的皱纹，喜欢她有点哑哑的却特别真实的嗓音，像哑光一样不亮眼，却有质感，令人心折。Izzie当然也很可爱，却缺少Meredith那一种优雅的风度。
　　大多中国男人的审美观，就是青春可人，岁月的智慧，他们不懂得欣赏。
　　Pick me，choose me，and love me.
　　她对derek说。我真是爱死这句话，但又是喜欢又是心疼。她真是一个勇敢坚强可爱的女孩。只是很多男人，怕接受不了这样主动又独立的思想吧。
　　
　　you deserve better.
　　you deserve better.
　　在剧中，男女分手时，我们常常可以听到这句话。不论是否出自真心，或是礼貌，这句话，总是代表着一种理性的方式吧。而在我们平日所看到的，分手大都很难看，仓皇、退避、谎言、拖欠、借口。
　　剧中分分合合很多，也许是为了剧情需要，但是，他们都很率直，能说出自己要说的，TO tell a lie，在美国的文化中，或许是被看作一种很大的过错，甚至人品格、人性的污点，而且他们，也总是有勇气去面对与改正。中国人，何时有这种勇气？
　　
　　sense and sensibility
　　人给人生和社会规定了许许多多的规则。
　　《GA》里，Denny说，人生苦短，不可能都按规则来行事。
　　还有一句常说的话：We can make mistakes,everyone can make mistakes.所谓错误，也不过是在理智和感情的斗争中，人往往有时顺从了感情而非社会规则，或说，理性。更可怕的是，人往往不知道自己内心到底在想什么？往往，心和身体，就会背判大脑。
　　理智与情感，哪一个会占上风？
　　而意外，总是在计划时出现。
　　人生因为充满意外，因为不规则，才成为人生。
　　
　　亲人
　　Meredith，对她好的，不是她的亲爸，而是Richard，她的stepmother，对她的关心也似亲妈。
　　她的亲爸，在知道老婆抢救无效时，给了她一个耳光。他真是一个懦弱无用的爹。在Mer溺水抢救时，他不知道在哪里，是Richard抢救她，不抛弃，不放弃。他明知老婆的死与她无关，为了泄愤，给了她一个耳光。而他谈到一张老照片，津津乐道地说，这是他的另外一个女儿。而Mer却说，那是我。
　　他的，他从小就离开的女儿。
　　我最深爱的人伤我却是最深。
　　不知为什么，我想到了郑欣宜。

　　　It takes two.
　　A男和B女broke up，在我们这里简直是一石激起千层浪。
　　有人站在A一边，有人站在B一边。
　　其实，Baily说了，It takes two.
　　最近可能看多了连岳和GA，我以为，无论开始人的初衷有多么美好，世界在变化，人在变化。而快乐是不多的。
　　我希望A能快乐，我希望B能成长。因为，
　　It's time to stand up,time to grow up.

　　
　　
　　　　last episode
　　看到S4，舍不得看完，希望故事继续。看到S4，last episode，这一集，非常感动。
　　越来越理解Mere，她是一个单亲家庭的孩子，如同她的名字，grey,这名字真是好。dark,twisted,hesitate.她与derek的感情这样纠结，是因为她被伤害，她日常的生活少有温暖的底色,所以她犹疑，惶惑，近情情怯。
　　但她在努力，在成长。她敢于直面自己的问题，就是进了一步，她要从她母亲那里看到自己的缺陷，然后弥补，长大。就这一点，她就是一个talent,gifted,extraordinary的人。
　　GA，讲的就是这样一群有着各自缺点的，不完美的人，可是他们都在学习成长、学习修正自己的人性弱点，正如alex眼底滑落的那一滴泪一样，令人感动。
　　这才是真正的人，这才是真正的人生，这就是GA的意义。
　　
　　

1

花了很長時間看Grey's Anatomy,之後又花了很長時間努力不去思考。醫療題材的片子很容易出彩，也很容易讓人覺得厭倦，《白色巨塔》走的是反面對比路綫，因果輪回報應不爽，配一首宗教歌曲就讓人落淚。相比之下，美國人喜歡沒事就說說人生，其實這樣挺好的，人生就需要一些淺薄又積極的探討。把人生歸結成一種美國式的黑色幽默之後又刻意壓低到扭曲零碎的生活瑣事中去，好像只有這樣，編造出來的理論才能夠得到圓滿。這一原則的另一個結局就是做出來的東西特別真實，有時候簡直是太他媽真實了。

大多數的矛盾只有三种原因，對於當下自我體認的不滿，對於當下他人對自我映射的不滿，然後導致了對過去未來的人生的焦慮。毉患關係的矛盾是人本身的矛盾，一方面對自己無法掌握自己生命的結局感到絕望，另一方面因爲了解前者的絕望，所以難以自我安慰。不知道自己要什麽；想知道自己要什麽；有時候以爲知道了自己要什麽；有時候只知道自己不要什麽。長得一臉韓國式plain的Christina是所有人的榜樣，在她一臉理所當然的道德感薄弱之下。最情比金堅是 Christina對Meredith：“緊急聯絡人我填了你的名字。”最無可奈何是Bruke對Christina：“我們算是一對了，這沒什麽大不了的。”最望塵莫及是Izzie對Christina：“我不是妒嫉她的選擇，我只是妒嫉她這麽堅定這麽純粹。”

如同我們所猜想的，醫生對於自己的人生，比常人有更多的不認同感。這就好像法官對於公平正義，老師對於教學相長，國家領導人對於國家本身的定義一樣。《無人生還》裏的法官，到最後都得意于自己病態的舉證方式：但是説到底，這是死循環。

2

很多人不能認同Meredith，有可能是對美劇中瓊瑤戯份的厭惡。要是都像越獄那樣，每集都刺激刺激刺激每秒鐘，就回到了好萊塢動作片的老路上。你還記得ABC是怎樣在好萊塢疲軟的時候殺進的麽？因爲人們關心的是内歷時的人物命運：Meredith在Seattle Grace的第一年，第二年……20個人中只有6個女人，而在這20個人之中，有5個將在壓力下崩潰，有2個會要求離開。George要重復實習，Alex留起了鬍子，Mark戯份加重，連男主角也對第三季的劇本表示了不滿，如果第四季還這麽混亂的話，他就要甩手不干了。接下來的事情你們都知道了：演O'mally的演員坦誠自己是同性戀，Addison功成名就spin off，Burke無法解決内部矛盾……然後，然後編劇罷工開始了。

回過頭來想一想，Meredith的塑造是成功的。她優秀得不露聲色，因此不同于典型亞裔美國人那種強迫式的自我要求，同時又有美國女人的優點：寬容和理解（至少看起來是這樣）。決絕?不，生活裏不流行決絕。關心？關心他人的生活，而不是内心。無論如何，劇本是用事件而不是獨白編織的，如果讓觀衆過多地看出編劇們表達的用心，毫無疑問是一種失敗——人物本身會有自己的發展，但是觀衆又非得要求緊張激烈的情節，稀奇古怪的病例，這確實是一種對於編劇能力的考驗。在Meredith瀕死的時候，各種綫索匯聚到一起，以四個人的方式把三季中重要事件和代表意義呈現出來，其中的一些綫索結束了，比如代表着 Meredith母親的護士隨著她母親的死去也消失了，但是另一些沒有，代表着主角感情選擇的Bonnie未來肯定還會出現。被炸成脆片的爆破組組長也許代表Meredith的勇氣，但是這種無所不能的勇氣，正如Meredith所說，會“fade away”，還有人氣最高的Denny和Izzie兩肩相觸的刹那，靈犀一點天人永隔：所有美好的東西最終都會消失，如果不能move on，你就只能困在原地。

是的，我們得承認人心脆弱。因爲害怕受傷害，太容易對珍惜的東西失去信心。像Christina那種受亞洲同胞們讚賞的堅強，其實是更深的自傷。如果真的完全不相信愛，怎樣完好地活在人間？

考文雕的時候滿腦子都是Meredith的金髮和抿成直綫的嘴。我一直覺得很層次的金髮很好看，但是一不小心，就會面如土色。我能理解美國精神是缺乏武俠小説熏陶的，她和他們都不知道什麽是“醉笑陪君叁萬場，不訴離傷。”

3

在列文的莊園，一男一女相遇了，兩個孤獨的，憂鬱的人。他們相互閒有好感，暗中希望能將兩人的生活結合到一起。他們只等着能單獨在一起的機會，以互相表白。有一天他們終于在沒有第三者的情況下同処一個小樹林。他們在那裏采蘑菇。兩人内心激動，一言不發，知道時機來了，不要讓它溜走。當時他們已經靜默了很久，女人突然開始說起蘑菇來了。這完全是“違背她意願的，意想不到的”。隨後，又是一陣靜默，男人掂量着字眼想表白，可是他沒有談愛情，“出於一種意想不到的衝動”，他也跟她談起蘑菇來。
在回家的路上，他們還在談着蘑菇，一點辦法也沒有，心中充滿了絕望，因爲他們知道，他們永遠都不會談到愛情了。

以上這個例子是昆德拉舉出來證明人類的行動怎樣超越出因果關係的可解釋範圍。事實上，這似乎是人類藝術的一個最大的突破口：科學證明那些可重復的事件，藝術則在不可重復的神秘性上佔有優勢。亞裏士多德認爲詩歌比歷史更真實，就是這個道理。從這個方面來説，編劇罷工最終會贏得勝利，因爲他們手中掌握着美國社會的“真實”，而這種真實性總是被需要的。

Meredith夢到自己拉開冰櫃，看到死掉的自己開口説話。死亡是涼爽的夜晚，自己的掙扎卻很徒勞。這是再真實不過的想法，誰也沒有立場說誰淺薄。對於那些認爲Grey's Anatomy刻意拉長劇情慘失人氣的，有些確實可觀，對於那些認爲主角形象塑造失敗的，則可能道德感過於強烈誘失中立了。有時候我們笑貧不笑娼。

我喜欢《实习医生格蕾》，非常，非常喜欢
看过这么多美剧，从来没有一部像GA这样让我可以说有点“迷”，有点沉溺
我会花一下午的时间找剧中的配乐的mp3资源
我会搜片头片尾英文台词并且保存下来
我会半信半疑的将邮箱留在GA吧里声称可以给全英文剧本的帖子里
只因为，它是GA
                     ——关于《Grey Anatomy》


    我喜欢这部片子里的很多人。

    Meridith，她经历了很多，也许太多，从小的家庭破裂令她对家庭从来就缺乏安全感，害怕被放弃。拥有一个本身太过优秀至于对她处处苛责即便得了阿尔兹海默氏病也不忘对她吼Why you’re so ordinary的妈妈；One night stand之后发现那个人居然是自己的BOSS也许不算糟糕，更郁闷的是真的爱上他之后却发现那是个有妇之夫；又不得不掺和到亲生父亲组建的另一个家庭中去……她对Yang说，we need you to be happy，她需要有好朋友的幸福样板来说服自己，生活并没有那么糟糕，幸福是可以期待的。可以想象，这是一个对未来多么缺乏信心的人，以至于一度任由放弃自己的生命，放弃存活。我没有理由苛责她在感情上的踟蹰退缩，只是真的很希望，她有一天，能够过得不这么混乱，不这么错综复杂，只要一点点，简单的幸福就好。没错，life is tough, 所以，请一定要keep moving on，一定。

    Derek，绰号Mc dreamy，大概真的是很多女孩心目中的Mc dreamy吧。英俊、迷人带点忧郁气质，主治医生，Chief的接班人。很难说这是一个怎样的男人，才会拥有那样一双神情疲惫却又摄人心魂的眼睛。他渴望安定，却没有安全感，对感情太容易投入又太过理智，曾经的背叛让他太害怕伤害，太害怕没有结局，只好一次一次陷入被卡在中间地带的尴尬境地。有时候看着看着，会很怜惜这个男人，他始终不是阳光乐观的那一群，骨子里透着悲观、压抑甚至绝望。一直期盼他和Meridith能有happy ending，有一天却终于觉得也许他们俩终究不会有happy ending，也许我们该盼望他能找到那个可以一起建筑家庭理想可以安定下来一起变老的perfect woman，就算不是最爱。
    
    也挺喜欢Derek的前妻Addison，她是一个很值得敬重的女人。漂亮，气质高雅，有点自负，事业有成，也许感情不尽如人意。她其实揣着一个再普通不过的梦想，那就是，找一个可以安定下来的人，一起生一个小孩，然后，be happy ever after，只是，这样的愿望对于人类而言，有时候居然显得那么奢侈。在GA里面，到处都是离合，破裂，不忠，背叛。她自己，不也曾经背叛Derek？太难了，最后她决定放弃找这么一个人，独自想要一个小孩好好养的时候，却发现她没有生小孩的能力了，是讽刺，还是惩罚呢？

    可以说Izzie，是GA里头我最喜欢的一个角色了。很欣赏这个漂亮，率真的女人，喜欢她极其坚定的说，I will not change。她坚信，无论是作为一个医生还是作为一个人，她都不会改变，永远会遵循自己的内心。让个人情感卷进医生的角色又怎么样？爱上自己的病人甚至置职业生涯于不顾又怎么样呢？人生太短暂，疯狂爱一场，也值了不是？拼命为Denny争取到那颗心脏，结果却猝不及防。她终究没有等来预想中的春天，没有等来happy ending。我们可以知道的是，She did nothing wrong，she just did what she wanted；And for that，，she is much more braver than many of us。没错，她很勇敢。即便对待无望的爱情，她很勇敢，也很坚持。（因为喜欢这个角色进而关注凯瑟琳•海格尔，很喜欢她那招牌式的笑容。在这届奥斯卡颁奖礼上，梦露式打扮的她在说颁奖词的时候居然会颤抖，实在是很可爱。最近看了她主演的《新娘靠边闪》，还不错，推荐哦★★★）

    不能不说Burke和Yang这一对，GA里算是唯一一对忠贞的情侣。Burke成熟稳重，才华横溢，是那种值得信任值得托付的男人。而Christina，是一个事事争先恐后非常有野心的女人。这一对儿的发展多少给了我们很多希望，原本这一对非典型的结合是相当值得津津乐道的，可是Yang，在最后的关头，她没能走过红地毯，没能跨过那扇门，没能说出I do的宣誓。于是，在最后的最后，Burke离开了，Christina疯了一样摘掉脖子上的Burke的家传饰品，疯一样的扯去婚纱。我真的无法理解，到底是怎么了？人和人之间，到底是怎么了。即便是两个真心相爱的人，似乎也逃脱不掉，永远永远无法到达，那所谓的happy ending。

（附：Burke的那段marriage vow:
Cristina, I do promise, to hold you and cherish you. And I promise, to be there in sickness and in health. I could say, till death do us apart, but I won’t. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the vows full of hope, but I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful, I am sure, I’m steady. And I know, I’m a heart man, take them apart, put them back together, I hold them in my hands, I am a heart man, so this, I am sure, you are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart beat for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this, I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you, me. ）

    GA的新剧集将在4月下旬推出。我一边等待，一边回顾。
    看着看着，我只是不明白，这里的人们，这些或者将要成为最优秀的外科医生的人们，为什么对待生活，对待感情，对待所爱的人，对待所在乎的事，却那么绝望呢。为什么happy ending就像童话一样遥不可及呢。
     
    是人类太绝望，还是因为这个世界本身太让我们失望呢。
    身体的伤害，也许手术可以使它痊愈，即便留下疤痕，也会慢慢淡去。可是，人心的伤口，永远都无法痊愈，就像落下了病根，时不时会复发，有时候痛苦来得猝不及防，有时候甚至脆弱得不堪一击。人们在这个世界上努力、拼搏、奋斗，职位、功名、利禄，也许很快就得到了，可是人们的内心，却仍旧孤独、脆弱、无力。每个人都渴望保护自己，害怕背叛和伤害，缺乏信任，也依旧渴望幸福，期待坚固的关系，渴望真心的情感，却依旧在幸福面前迟疑，踟蹰，徘徊，直至失去，直至发现再也无法回头。
    
    我们是否依然应该相信，有一个叫做happy ending的东西呢？

1
Cristina: You know in the movies how there's always the heroes and then there's the other guy? You know the guy who sees danger and runs in the opposite direction?
Burke: Yes.
Cristina: Be the other guy.

Code Black的一集，此时Burke和Grey同时在手术室里，Cristina与Burke耳语。虽然大家都说在Burke中弹后才看到Cristina的人性，但在一句"Be the other guy."中，我总是固执的觉得，Yang是背叛与格蕾的友情而对Burke说出的这句话。危机之下，be the other guy.

 
2

Meredith：I lied. I'm not out of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in it's humiliating because here I am begging--
Derek：Meredith, just--
Meredith：shut up.You say "Meredith," and I yell, remember?
Derek：Yeah.
Meredith：Okay...here it is.Your choice, it's simple--her or me? And I'm sure she's really great. But, Derek, I love you... in a really, really big... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you.So pick me.Choose me.Love me.

The most famous and representative section.其实我一直觉得格蕾有些phyco,唯一比她更phyco的就是Izzie了。而且两人都是乍一看还行，越来越phyco的类型。Anyway,这段话，这样一个没有安全感的人，再加上演员当时desperate的表情，classic.

 
3

Grey/Cristina:I'm your person.

第一次听这种说法，直译过来我是你的人总是容易YY出一个红衣大辫子姑娘脸小红一下子对个大老爷们说“我都是你的人了”。但是当一个dark&twisted的女实习医生肩并肩的抱着另一个cold&inhumand的女实习生说出一句"I'm your person",我才开始有点小动容了，虽然觉得她们的友情线跟进的有点突兀。

 
4

Burke:I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be there whether sickness or health. I could say till death do us depart, but I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples. The ones full of hope, but I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful, but I'm sure and I'm steady, and I know I am a heartman. Take them apart and put them together, I hold them in my hands. I am a heartman. So this I am sure you are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart beats for you, and on this day today on our wedding I promise you this, I promise you to lay my heart on palm of your hand. I promise you "me".

Burke这番话听的时候觉得unbelievably brilliant，把台词写下来着实觉得相对于Burke的性格来说有点墨迹。但还是很不错的，相当不错。骄傲严肃，正直善良,永远像一个至高无上的神的存在，不论什么时候都存有理智的相信。A handy man, a heart man.整个剧里唯一的让人相信的让人抱有幻想的爱情和承诺。

 
5

Burke: I am Preston Burke! A widely renowned cardio-thoracic surgeon. I am a professional and more than that, I am a good and kind person. I am a person that cleans up behind myself! I am a person that cooks well. And you, you are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke! And you, you are the most competitive, most guarded, most stubborn, most challenging person I have ever met! And I love you. What the hell is the matter with you that you won't just let me?

哈哈～still Burke，“what the hell is the matter with you that you won't just let me”——发飙的Burke 还是非常口耐的。作为一个如此骄傲的自己，已经无法忍受yang对他的不信任，对他们爱情的不信任，积压已久的愤怒终于在这样的一个时候冲出，而Yang仍然坐在床上，吃着中餐，看着杂志，甚至是在Burke说"I love you"的时候才抬头看了他一眼。然后等Burke发完飙，没语调的说出"I gave up my apartment 20 minutes ago."我都不知道该说点啥囧
 

6

Cristina:It's not difficult,it's simple.Burke is not here, he has gone.And it's better for him.(小blar) But it's not difficult.He's out there.And I'm here while everything is the same.I still living in his apartment,I walked across the same passages of this hospital and wearing the same clothes.That's not difficult.This is where I am,This is where I choose to be. But,sir,when his hands were shaking, I performed his surgeries, I kept his secrets,I knew his pride.You know it, I know it, and he knows it.He knows it!(小blar)I'm the unseen hand to his glories.And while,everthing is ......everthing is very very different......I was his hand ,and now I'm the ghost.That's not difficult.It's unbearable.I know everybody is proud of him,but I'm not.And I do not wishing him.

在Erica把Yang整惨了之后，Burke又很合时宜的得了个什么Harper Avery Award（貌似？），Yang在停尸房里独自唱着歌，连我都觉得很惨..."I was his hand ,and now I'm the ghost.That's not difficult.It's unbearable."这剧本写的实在是忒到位了，没有什么比an invisible ghost更能体现Yang的地位的了，也没有什么比unbearable更能表现Yang的心情了。
(不知为什么，我想起了我长达近两年的失眠，从校园里没有人的时候去实验室，等到全校掐电的时候回寝室，上午一个熏肉大饼，下午一个煎饼果子，可是凌晨一点躺在床上仍然睡不着，看着太阳冉冉升起。That's not unbearable,it's suicidal.)
 

7

Izzie:You're right, maybe I should run.But I'd rather be running toward somebody than running away.

我说过，Izzie is a phyco,但她之所以phyco也是由于她的emotional.只不过这种emotional一开始是很可爱的，但后来就很有点神经，不知道编剧是怎么把握这个角色的。但这句话，是我听Izzie说过的最美丽的话了。

 

我为啥要看格蕾？

我不喜欢生理实验，曾经一度为了逃避实验想在研究生时学生物信息。
我不喜欢这里的很多角色，有感情过度充沛或者完全没感情或者干脆神经病的女人，有要么臭屁要么混蛋的男人，以及优柔寡断的GAY（其实我腐的），以及还不如他们的等等等等。
我不喜欢这里的很多演员，眼角和嘴角都是皱纹的装嫩女主角，长着一双标准YD眼睛的男主角，或者就是虽然好看但长相着实普通的Dr. Model以及虽然长得有很有特点但实在柯趁的Dr.Cold Blood.
但我热爱生命。我喜欢看不同的人站在不同的角度如何对待我们唯一拥有的东西。我喜欢看这些掌握生命的人如何对待自己的人生。我喜欢看在最绝望的时刻，人和人是如何握紧双手，彼此拯救。我喜欢看在一次一次的生还与死亡中，人是如何变的成熟与宽容。

我还是得看格蕾。